What is the deal with all the “women love wine and coffee” chatter these days? I like wine and coffee as much as the next gal, but I’m not drunk and wired all day, every day. I don’t think any of my friends are, either. But everywhere I go there is a t-shirt, a bumper sticker, or a mug with some wine and coffee meme or catchphrase.
TRUTH. I’ve noticed an uptick in the “coffee and wine are the drugs which allow women to function as capable human beings” swag market across the past few years.
YES, I love coffee. French press, espresso, pour-over, cold-pressed: I like it all.
YES, I enjoy wine. Dry Provencal rosés make me particularly happy to drink with just about any meal.
Do I want all of my clothes, screen savers, office posters, and to-go cups to be bedazzled with catch phrases about how I can’t function without them? Uh….no.
Loving caffeine is not an exclusively female affair, for the record. The fact that we may be more tired doesn’t help our coffee-PR image, but let me promise you: if all the coffee disappeared tomorrow, and was only given out to people with pithy mugs with coffee quotes, men would be begging, borrowing and stealing our hot-pink “Coffee is my rocket fuel!” cups that we were given by our secret snowflakes (along with a coffee shop gift card, of course) last holiday season.
As for wine, I think the increased access to solid, good-tasting wines at not-bank-breaking costs have made having a glass or two in the evening more possible for everyone. Can we help it that we do more of the shopping, and more of the putting away of the groceries, and more of the knowing where the wine is to drink it? NO, we cannot.
The whole thing speaks of ridiculous gender-specific expectations, which is really what I think irks us so much about this. That’s nothing new, either. Men don’t all drink beer and watch sports. Women don’t all enjoy a tea party—I couldn’t dislike tea more, actually, does that mean I don’t like quiet afternoons with a book and a scone? Again I say, uh…no.
When my husband and I first got together, he was immediately relieved that he would rarely have to drive a car again. Why? He hates driving, I love it. He likes to read in the car and be a happy passenger, I get desperately carsick and can’t even imagine reading a map for more than 20 seconds.
Over our 17 years of marriage, I have become the primary driver, and as I have had oodles more practice, I have remained the better driver in the family. He is an amazing navigator, and a really helpful “first mate” in the car, and again, I can’t read a map for more than 20 seconds. The system works beautifully for us.
You know what, though? When we were first together, people seemed baffled that he would open the door for me and I would drive us home from an event. Even now, we occasionally get stares about it. Why?
Well, you know why. Women are horrible drivers and men love driving and women can’t be trusted behind the wheel and men won’t ask for directions but will get you where you need to go and…for the third time I say, uh…no.
I’m not sure what we are going to have to do to stop being asked to purchase “Give me coffee, or give me sleep!” and “Wine Time is All the Time” tchotchkes for each other, but the best thing we can do to make this stereotype lose steam is to avoid purchasing anything with these memes.
Buy yummy, freshly roasted coffee beans or earthy, delicious bottles of red with that money, instead.
And let’s make other drinks! How about a whiskey and coke as a classic recipe to accompany this problem? Add a twist of lime and call yourself a mixologist.
Caffeine + liquor, and no pithy t-shirts featuring it in sight. Enjoy!